Technique for Learning to Trust Yourself

  1. Catastrophizing may be the first noticeable sign or symptom of the truth that you are in a fear state, and not trusting the process of life. So, when you realize this, you still need to let it be O.K.  Letting it be O.K. detaches ‘you’ from your ego. It helps you to ‘understand’ (or remember) that your ego is only a portion of your mind….and that it is this ‘small portion’ that is fearful or generating fearful thoughts about the situation. By detaching, by identifying your ego, at least a part of you can regain some calmness, which can be built upon.
  2. Taking three deep breaths also calms you, by grounding you. Once grounded, you can think more clearly, and are less impulsive…It also brings you into the ‘present moment’ so your ego loses its power. Before the deep breaths, the catastrophizing occurs because your ego uses both past and future situations to ‘rev’ you up.
  3. Once in the present moment, review the ‘situation by returning to the incoming info that you judged as wrong or bad.
  4. Reverse the negative judgment – letting it be O.K. and then create a positive affirmation.
  5. Seek to understand why or how the info made you feel. Probably, the info you do have is not enough to ‘know’ the it is a ‘fear of the unknown’ that has triggered the catastrophizing.
  6. When you are calm again, revisit the situation. Think about what the situation has ‘forced’ or ‘pushed’ or ‘motivated’ you to do.  It will be something ‘good’, some character trait that you wanted to change, and hadn’t been able to without this new situation, which has been brought to you to act as a catalyst.  Another person can also be the catalyst. The purpose will always be to weaken your ego’s power over your choices.
  7. The final outcome will always be calmness…inner peace….and if a decision needs to be made, you will ‘know’ the right one to make, whereas when you began the process, you wouldn’t would have been afraid of making a mistake…But, once you go through this process, the decision will be very clear…and you will feel ‘great’ about it…You will have no doubt at all…about the next move…

It still requires practice, practice and more practice, however, and each time you implement this process, it will happen less often and you will not go as low as you have been.  Remember to forgive yourself each time you forget…and slip back..because it will happen.  You are human, and all humans make mistakes. It is the only way we can learn!       Good Luck!

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